So Much More Than A Paycheck... (Repost)

This is a repost from last February, (originally on my old homeschool blog). I decided since my allergies are kicking my butt this week, it would be a good idea to repost this for those of you who are new.

I'm on to another Dr. Laura book, this one is The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage. I also read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands which I also recommend, oh and don't forget the movie Fireproof, that's great too.

In my opinion, this is another book that should be highlighted, and within reach at all times. It's like going to church, we keep learning the same stuff because we need that bonk on the head, that reminder to get us back on track.

I truly believe that men are simple creatures and they only need a few things to be happy. In fact at dinner the other night, Kimball said almost that exact thing to me and yet I so often forget and start with the whining, complaining, and acting pouty or I start taking him for granted and not giving him the praise he deserves.

I look back to a time when Kimball was getting our business going, working like a DOG in the 110 degree Arizona sun, six days a week, 12-15 hour days and yet I did more criticizing and complaining than you can imagine. Sure I was working equally as hard with the kids, house and book keeping, it was an extremely stressful time...but I wasn't showing him how much I appreciated all he was doing. That's the number one thing I believe men need is to be shown appreciation for their hard work, to know that they are your hero so when they walk out that front door every morning, they feel loved, supported, and needed. Of course on top of that they also need affection, a warm meal, and to know their kids are being well taken care of. It's pretty simple really.

Kimball and I have had our share of ups and downs (oh my have we), but I am SO grateful we continue to work out our differences and try to make the other one happy. I know when I'm doing the above mentioned things, Kimball is one happy man and in return he'll treat me like a QUEEN.

Here's the 3 main tips she gives:

1. Treat your spouse as if you loved them with your last breath-no matter how contrary to that you might feel at any one moment.

2. Think hard every day about how you can make their life worth living.

3. Be the kind of person you would want to love, hug, come home to, and sacrifice for.

They are all great points, but #3 stands out to me because I think it's so important to try and have the house picked up, look presentable, and hopefully have dinner on the table or close to it. I don't always succeed and I'm working on serving my man more meat (since we all know the way to a man's heart is through his stomach). I'm also noticing my actions more when he walks in the door. Do I instantly bombard him with whining or complaints? Or do I just glance over from my lap top and say "hey"?

I'm also working on not being a drama queen when it comes to problems or mistakes. This isn't always easy for me because I'm the worrying type, but if our spouses can't come to us without us acting like an over powering parent, then how will they ever feel safe to share? We should be the one person they can come to with anything.

BTW, I'm speaking to myself because I have a lot of room for improvement in this area. OK so I'm off to do more reading, get more advice and hopefully build a stronger marriage. Hope you'll read these books if you haven't already.