Thursday, February 11, 2010

UN{CONDITIONAL} LOVE


Unconditional love: To love someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs.

Unconditional love is something we all want desperately, yet how freely do we grant it?

In Marriage: I have thought a lot about this expression over the past year. Many people don't know this but Kimball and I were both married before...to each other! That's right; we were married for about a year and a half then divorced, and remarried nine months later. We were young, selfish and immature. Unconditional love isn't something that comes natural to me, though I have come a LONG way. I've learned that marriage is sacred and should be treated with the utmost care. We shouldn't consider divorce as 'Plan B' when we come to realize that marriage takes endless effort, patience, sacrifice, forgiveness and above all undonditional love. When you find someone who's willing to look past your weaknesses, shortcomings and baggage and still loves you fiercley...hang onto him!

In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis compares divorce to surgery. Like cutting off both legs, something that should only be done "as a desperate remedy in extreme cases." Having experienced that kind of agaony firsthand, I fully agree. When I read this my heart ached all over again. I wouldn't wish divorce on my worst enemy; it should be avoided at all costs.

In Parenting: Marriage isn't the only area we need to exercise unconditional love. How many times do we show {conditional} love by the way we sigh, yell, spank and give disapproving looks to our kids? We constantly show that our love is conditional by the way we react to their mistakes, misjudgments and choices we don't necessarily agree with. Again, this is a hard one for me. I'm often quick to react (or overreact) and am constantly praying for more patience and a softer tone.

Love Thy Neighbor: "Do not waste time bothering whether you 'love' your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him." We literally have to ask ourselves, "If I loved this person, what would I do? How would I act toward them?" I have found this to be true on many occasions. I can't say I'm great at retaining that affection the next time they offend or hurt me, but I'm working on it. My stubborn, prideful self gets in my way all too often!

The Ultimate Love: Christ's ability to love unconditionally is much safer. "Though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not. It is not wearied by our sins, or our indifference; and, therefore, it is quite relentless in its determination that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him."

Christ grants us his unconditional love...freely. 
All quotes taken from Mere Christianity



11 comments:

  1. Great post Jessica! I was married before as well, but to someone else. And it makes me appreciate my dh SO MUCH MORE knowing what a wonderful man I have! Sometimes these mistakes make us realize what really matters! :)
    Kristi

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  2. What a great post and reminder of how important unconditional love is and how hard it is to apply it to our relationships at times!

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  3. oh Lewis is getting under your skin, I love it!!!
    hugs and lots of love,
    edie

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  4. This post is awesome. I was nodding my head throughout the whole thing. Thank you for sharing. Though we as humans can never fully grasp the concept of unconditional love I am so THANKFUL for God's love that is perfect!

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  5. This is a beautiful post....we could all use these "unconditional love" reminders....at least I know I can:)

    Just read your comment on my blog....OMG, that is fantastic news!! So happy for you guys!! I can't wait to follow along as you begin your journey!!

    Have a wonderful weekend and a Happy Valentine's Day:)

    xo,

    Lisa

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  6. This is so great, Jessica. To break it down like you did is an exercise that all of us should do. Thank you for sharing your story.

    I left you something on today's post, come by if you have time.

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  7. Wonderful! Love is a choice...not always based upon emotion. I really enjoyed reading this.

    (I came over from Tracy's blog today!)

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  8. Wow I needed to hear all of that today! Good Post!!! Looks like you guys cames here and got a family pic at the starmill. SOoooooo cute!

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  9. Oh wow, Jess....this was great. G and I almost divorced once. We even got as far as splitting all of our belongs and staying apart for a month(a story I have rarely shared). I still struggle with unconditional love...in all areas.

    As soon as I get settled in NJ...I'm unpacking Mere Christianity and re-reading it!!

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  10. what a deep subject Jessica - this really got me to thinking about my love and how I give it...or don't.
    and you broke it down so well...I am so glad you shared today. Such good reminders and seasoned with grace too:)
    thanks for linking up today...have a blessed Sunday
    xo

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